Hey everybody so i just found this wiki and i am doing my first fan fiction now i don't know about you but i was kind of disappointed with season 13 and i am rewriting it. However to do that i need to edit some things about seasons 11 and 12 to get to 13 so just go with it p.s once in a while i will explain why i did a certain thing to the script. For example using a certain mute white armored fishbowl wearing asshole in the script.But i digress. Edit
Season 11 Edit
Now i didn't know what to change in season 11 but it is different.
We begin as we normally did with Wash making his journal entry and being pissed when he hears the reds messing around.
Wash:Oh are you serious!
We cut to the reds messing around with their Warthog trying to drag a heavy crate to their outpost.
Simmons:Come on come on come on!
Sarge:Simmons status report!
Simmons:Alright sir I've managed to recover the crate from the crash but i don't think the Warthog can pull it back to base.
Sarge: Nonsense this baby has the everlasting power of diesel! i know because i made this jeep an unstoppable weapon for the red team.
Warthog quickly runs out of gas and Simmons gets out and stands next to Sarge.
Sarge:Stupid dirtbag jeep.
Sarge hits Warthog which causes it to play the red teams signature song
Note don't know why i did this just wanted to hear it play again.
Simmons:Well that's just great,fuck.
Washington quickly arrives and he looks pissed
Washington:What the hell is going on here!?
Sarge:Hey Simmons look who it is, our good Freelancer friend agent Washington.
Washington:Sarge what are you doing?
Sarge:Nothing much just taking something to our base for renovations.
Sarge:Nothing much just something nice and decorative like a mortar cannon.
Washington:Simmons out the jeep now.
Simmons reluctantly gets out of Warthog.
Sarge:This is a violation of the red and blue treaty.
Washington:Technically to have a treaty there needs to be a war beforehand and there was no war.
Grif comes out of the red base.
Sarge then throws a grenade at Grif where it detonates near him.
Grif:You fucking jackass!
At this point everything progresses as it did without my edits with the reds messing around caboose's discovery of Freckles and Locus watches over them here is the later big edit .
We cut to the gas station at around episode 10 or 11 where a small ship lands and three rather unsavory characters come out and wait at the station for their nefarious dealings
Thug 1:Grrrr where is he he should be here by now?
Thug 2:Relax the contact should be here soon then we get payed and then we leave.
Thug1:Then where is he huh? This was not easy to get and i want money now!
Thug3:Shut up mercs are always fashionably late we'll get our money.
Suddenly a man wearing War master armor appears the armor is steel and silver with a frost visor.
Note: This guy is Carolina's rival. One problem with Sharkface was he was only there to be Carolina's enemy and if you want to make that work introduce the character early. Also not many people are familiar with who Sharkface precisely is so i made a character for that purpose.
The mercenary moves toward the thugs holding a Storm rifle and has a spartan laser on his back.
Mercenary:There you are ,you must be my contacts.
Thug 3:We are and we have the goods ready for purchase.
Thug 2:Are you the guy that wanted this ,are you Locus?
Mercenary:No I'm not Locus but i am a business partner to him as he would say.
Thug1:And who the hell are you supposed to be?
Mercer:My name is Lucius Mercer and i am here to buy the goods.
Thug2:But we were told this is for Locus only.
Mercer:Locus is busy, big deal I'm not so i recommend you give up the goods
Thug1:You want the goods give up the money first dipshit or you won't see anything.
Mercer:Don't think you can piss me off and be fine with it i want to see if the goods are genuine first.
Thug2:Listen boss we need our money before we can make an agreement on the goods.
Mercer:Don't worry you'll get what is good for you Locus and i think we have a good price for you lot.
Suddenly the thugs are gunned down by a pair of unseen assailants and Locus deactivates his active camo followed by a man in steel and red odst armor with a thermal visor.
Locus:Little John check the ship's inventory I want to know if the package is in a good condition for our purposes.
The steel and red odst grunts in acknowledgement and moves towards the thugs ship
Mercer:Locus anything new from up top ?
Locus:Control says to give it a little longer until we can begin the next phase.
Mercer:Grunts in annoyance can't they just begin the next phase now i mean because i think it would benefit us if we made our next move immediately.
Locus:We obey Control and we follow their plans for Chorus if Operation Trojan Horse is going to be a success and you know they are right.
Mercer:i hate it when your right Locus but then again that's why your in command.
Locus then activates his radio and sends a message to Control.
Locus:Control this is Locus mission complete the Freelancer equipment has been recovered returning to Crash Site Bravo.
The battle for Bravo goes as it did in the original version with Locus capturing many reds and blues as well as Felix escaping with Tucker Caboose Grif and Simmons.
We cut to the reds and blues outside of captivity.
Tucker:Fucking hell my head uhhn where am i?
Felix:Easy there buddy you've taken a beating from the Feds.Locus brought everything he had to the crash site.
Tucker:Felix where the hell are the others what happened to Sarge what happened to Wash?
Felix:I'm sorry Tucker but they were taken I don't know where they are.
Tucker looks down in sadness about the facts his friends were captured by that mercenary asshole.
Felix:Listen Tucker I'm sorry but that's war not everyone makes it back i learned this from experience.
Note:The best thing about the Chorus trilogy was Locus's development from a cold blooded killer to someone we can feel sorry for and i wanted to explain why Felix is the way he is you know the whole insanity later on.So just keep this in the back of your mind as we come back to this.
Tucker then meets with the other members of the crew.
Grif:Fuck fuck fuck this can't be true Sarge Wash and doc are gone fuck!
Note:Here Doc gets taken instead of Donut as here Donut got killed by Wash.
Simmons:Grif do you think this is all about you!? We are the only ones who got away from the Feds and that damn Darth Vader knockoff!
Caboose:Tucker your awake, i didn't do it!
Tucker:So where all that made then?
Grif:Yeah shit if only Carolina and the big dude were at the canyon with us we might have all got out.
Note:The big dude Grif is talking about is the Meta who in my version redeemed himself during Revelation and went with Wash and company after they killed South and C.T who are the main baddies of Revelation.
Felix:Hey guys you feeling better yet? Don't worry you'll get used to it here it's no snow base but it's home.
Simmons:Wait how is that relevant right now i mean a cave's a better place to put a hidden base.
Tucker:Well i do have a glowing sword.
Felix:Anyway the reason i came here was that the leader of the New Republic Vanessa Kimball wants to see you immediately.
Then we have that very emotional speech that i don't want to change so it's as it is.
Then after the credits we cut to the mercenaries in an unknown location with their newly acquired Freelancer equipment.
Mercer:Holy shit i can't believe it this is the real thing it survived all these years and now we've got it.
Goliath:Well then i almost regret killing those fuckers now,strange how life changes your thoughts on things.
Locus:Cut the chatter Control has a new message for us.
Control:Report status on the package.
Goliath:We have the package and the codes we can now use it for the next phase.
Control:Excellent work men now we can move onto the next phase of Trojan Horse,Mercer i require that your men start locating and taking the VIPS immediately.
Mercer:I'll get my best men to start gathering them now then we can build the Venetor but um.
Control:Something wrong Mercer?
Locus:Mercer and i want to know are you sure that sparing the reds and blues is the best option ,our men would be adequate to remove them from the matter entirely.
Control:No Locus we must focus on the operation nothing must distract us from our goals.But if the reds and blues become a threat we must arrange for them to meet with an unfortunate fate with no survivors do i make myself clear.
All the mercs:Crystal.
Then we hear Locus's theme play as the package comes into view revealing the Sarcophagus was their objective.