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The Welcome Wagon is the second episode of Red vs. Blue: State of Mind .

The Welcome WagonEdit

Simmons and Grif walked out of the door when they heard the sound of an engine roaring torwards them. They were taken by suprise when a large truck sped by them, coming to a screeching halt a few feet from them. The driver's side door popped open and out jumped Sarge. Sarge stood shorter than either Grif or Simmons, but he didn't need to look someone in the face to be able to intimidate them. Out of the back, Lopez, the Red's mechanic, jumped out joining Sarge at his side.

"Sarge, when you said you were coming back with the new recruit, I didn't think this was what you meant," said an obviously confused Grif. Sarge breathed a heavy sigh.

"Grif, I swear, if you had fought in Vietnam you would have been the first in a body bag. That's to say if the soldiers in your squad thought you even deserved to go in a body bag," said Sarge. Lopez simply stared at Grif, a look that made Grif rather nervous.

"So, where's the new recruit, sir?" asked Simmons. Before Sarge could say anything, a door on the other side opened and the sounds of various items falling to the ground could be heard. A figure walked from the side of the vehicle and around the front. He stood slightly taller than Grif, but slightly shorter that Simmons. He had short, blonde hair and had a goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Hi there. It's great to finally meet you guys," said the young man as he gave a shook hands with Simmons and Grif. "My name is Franklin Delano Donut, what are your names?"

"Good to have you here, my name is Dick Simmons, and this guy is Dexter Grif," said Simmons.

"Nice to meet you Dex," said Donut. Grif gave his a look of displeasure.

"I would appreciate it if you would just call me Grif. And just a quick question; Do you by chance happen to have any doughnuts with you?"

Donut shook his head. "Can't say that I do."

"Any baked goods in general?"

"Can it, Grif. I want to show you guys the new vehicle we just picked up," said Sarge. "Do you remember last week when I said that Lopez was going to be building us a new vehicle?" Grif and Simmons nodded. "Well, he sort of decided not to. I bet he thought you would have broken it during a test drive like you did with the last one he built."

"Hey, I figured that if the Dukes of Hazzard could jump that Dodge Charger across that stream, then so could I," said Grif. The others just shook their heads out of embarrasment.

"Well, we decided to go with a vehicle we already knew would work, so I called up my war buddy, Jack Swanson, to see if he could hook us up with a good vehicle. Sure enough, he was able to provide us with an old M3 Half-track from 'Nam, modified of course to fit our needs." The truck had been downsized a bit, particuarly in the back, and the engine was modified to be even more powerful, allowing it to be much faster, and the treads had been replaced by regular wheels.

Grif and Simmons were in awe at the vehicle. Donut smiled and said, "Yeah, that was my reaction when I saw it too. And check out what else we got." Donut jumped into the back and pulled up an M60, mounting it in the back and spun around a bit with it. "I think it's pretty cool."

Sarge chuckled. "I think so too Donut. Now all we have to do is think of a name for the vehicle."

Grif walked over and leaned up against the side of the vehicle. "I think I've got some good ideas in regards to a name."


Church continued looking down at the vehicle, amazed at what the Reds had. What made him worry even more was the big gun they had gotten along with it, as well as the new person on their team. Four Reds were bad enough for their team of three, but now they had five, so even their new team mate wouldn't be able to even them out.

Tucker gave a look to Church and asked, "What are you so worried about?"

"What am I worried about? Do you not see that new vehicle they have, do you not see the big new gun they have, do you not see the fact that they have a new guy on their team!?"

"Oh come on, Church. If anything, the fat guy's just going to wind up wrecking this one just like he did last time."

"Eh, you're probably right. By the way, what did he think he was trying to accomplish when he did it?"

Tucker shrugged. "Beats me, but if I had to bet on anything, it would have to be reinacting a scene from The Dukes of Hazzard."

"Hello, can anybody hear me?" said a voice. Church picked up the CB radio that he had brought up to the roof with him.

"I read you loud and clear, Captain Flowers. The Reds have a new vehicle, a new member of their team, and a big gun."

"Ah, so that's what that loud noise was outside," said Flowers. "Well, that'll have to wait until later. The new guy is waiting for you guys to get back, just arrived a few minutes ago."

"Roger that, Church out." Church picked up the radio. "Come on, Tucker. Flowers and the new guy are waiting for us."

"Yeah yeah, I heard him. You aren't the only one listening to him you know."

"Shut up, Tucker. Just shut up."


"NO NO NO. Grif, why in God's name would we EVER, consider calling this a puma?" asked Sarge. Grif shrugged his shoulders.

"I just figured that since it was fast that we should name it after something that is fast, a.k.a a puma."

"There are a number of fast animals I would name it before I name it after something that is also the name of a shoe company," said Simmons, obviously dissatisfied with the choice. "I think we should call it, the Warthog."

"I like it. Unless you have any more suggestions to add, Grif," said Sarge.

"Well, we could always call it the Manticore, since those things are pretty badass," said Grif.

"Grif, I've said it before and I'll say it again, no naming things after mythical creatures," said Sarge. Sarge decided to add a bit of mockery. "Maybe we should call it the Unicorn, and instead of riddling our enemies with bullets, it'll fire magical beams of energy that makes us best of friends with the Blues." Sarge decided that mocking Grif was just going to be wasting time right now, threw his hands up in air and walked back into the base. Donut followed suite, and Lopez gave an annoyed look to Grif and followed the others inside.

Grif shook his head and turned to Simmons. "I feel that if I don't ask this now, it's going to be bothering me for the rest of my life. Is that guy Lopez a robot?"

Simmons shook his head and asked, "Why would you think that?"

"The dude never talks and he always sleeps standing up."

"I imagine he just doesn't like wasting his breath around you. As for the sleep standing up thing, you'd have to ask him yourself. Let's just go inside, you'd think the Blue guys would have been a little more quite while they were up on that roof."

"Yeah, you'd think they would learn just how well sound carries out here when it's otherwise quiet," said Grif as they walked into their base.

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