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Fair Game is the seventh episode of Red vs. Blue: State of Mind.

Fair GameEdit

Church winced with a little pain as Caboose dabbed a little hydrogen peroxide on a cut across Church's arm. "Damnit, Caboose. That stuff really burns."

"Sorry Church," apologized Caboose as he closed up the bottle. Having finally made it back to base, the Blues, namely Church and Tucker, were ready to get back at the Reds for the barfight. Tucker was sitting down in chair and playing Super Mario Bros., trying his best at accomplishing the World -1 trick, to little success.

Another failure as a result of time running out, Tucker dropped the controller and scowled. "Ok, how in the hell am I supposed to do this again? I get on the edge of the pipe, duck, and jump into the block. Everytime I try though, I either run out of time or I break the damned block."

"Try to hit the corner of the block, that's what Caboose always does," said Church as he picked up the second controller, ready to try this himself.

"I've been trying that for 20 minutes now. How in God's name can Caboose do this yet I can't?" said Tucker, switching the game over to two player mode.

Caboose looked over and said, "My friend Sheila taught it to me, maybe I should call her over to teach you how to."

Tucker gave him a quizzical look and asked, "Didn't you tell us last night that you didn't have a girlfriend."

Caboose shook his head. "She's just a friend. Who happens to be female."

"Let me ask something. Why are we playing Super Mario Bros. and talking about Caboose's girlfriend when we should be worrying about fighting the Reds?" asked Church.

"Meh, we'll deal with that later, after we kill the damn turtle." replied Tucker. Church shrugged and they went on to playing the game.


"...then we got into a fight with the Blues, kicked their ass, then made our way back here where we hoped to make a clean getaway," finished Simmons. Sarge slowly nodded.

"I see. Well then, I've got to hand it to you, Simmons. You showed that you were very well capable of handling yourself in a fight with those damned Blues. Despite them trying to get you when you had your back turned, you and Donut proved to be very effective," said Sarge.

Grif was dumbstruck. "What do you mean? All Donut did was sit down and talk with a new Blue guy. I actually stood there with Simmons and knocked some skulls in."

"Grif, Donut was gathering intel on the Blue's operations. All you probably did was get in Simmon's way. So, Donut, how much info did you get from the Blue?"

Donut replied, "Not much, Sarge. All he really gave me were some tricks to do on Super Mario Bros."

"Ah," said Sarge, "Well, at least you and Lopez are reliable, Simmons."

"Thank you, sir. I try my best," said Simmons.

Lopez walked over and tapped Sarge on the shoulder. "Señor, he encontrado un problema con el vehículo." (Sir, I have found a problem with the vehicle)

Sarge turned and said, "Thank you for the information, Lopez. I'm glad to hear that the Warthog is fully functional."

"No, señor. El vehículo no arrancará. Yo creo que alguien se orinó en el depósito de gasolina. (No, Sir. The vehicle won't start. I believe that someone urinated in the gas tank.)

"See, Grif. Lopez even went to the trouble to refilling the gas tank for us. You're the greatest, Lopez." said Sarge. Lopez sighed and walked out the door, knowing he would have a long day of work ahead of him fixing up the Warthog.

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