(Fade in; Simmons and Grif are standing on top of the base, and a soldier in red (Donut) walks in on them.) Simmons: That's not exactly what happened. Grif: Yeah. You said "I'm going to the Vegas Quadrant" and next thing I know, you took off in the escape pod. And... Donut: Uh, hello... sirs. Grif: Huh? Who are you? Donut: I am Private Franklin Delano Donut, a rookie. Red command sent me to report to Blood Gulch Outpost 1 and speak to anyone in charge. Simmons: Well you came on a bad day. Sarge is gone to command... Grif: Yep, aint no one in charge today. Simmons: Actually, Sarge left me in charge. He told me that if you gave me any trouble I should (clears throat; does a [bad] Sarge impression) "Git in the Warthog and run you down like a tomato can." Grif: That's the worst Sarge impression ever. Anyway rookie, what's your deal? Donut: I wanna fight some aliens. Grif: Well the only guys we have to fight are some Blue Guys on the other end of the.... Hey Donut, we seem to be out of headlight fluid for the Puma. Simmons: He means the Warthog. Grif: And we have also been out of Elbow Grease for a while. Why don't you go off to the store? Donut: Uhhh, okay. (Donut walks one way) Grif: Wrong way, rookie. (Donut walks the opposite way and walks towards the cliffs) Donut: Headlight fluid and elbow grease. (Screen moves to Grif and Simmons) Grif: I bet the Blues don't have a new rookie.